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PAG’S BAG  2002 ©    Don Read
An ode to Paganini (this fits the music by Andrew Lloyd-Webber but he would not give permission for a lyric so it’s a poem !

In 1782 in downtown Genoa
Mamma Paganini had a son, don’t ya knowa
When he was six he was a real virtuoso
He proclaimed, “On violin I am the greatest- only more so”
At eight years old he wrote a nice cantata
For the French he coined the famous Franc Sonata (That’s not strictly true, I made that bit up.)
He was so prolific
Critics said, “He’s terrific”
And his fame spread throughout Italy

Niccolo Paganini, he had a dream
And in that dream he wrote a cute little theme
It was a real mean theme
A theme de la crème
And everybody said he is a gen-i-us

In 1981 a chap with a cello
Played Paganini’s theme and made it sound less mellow
One day he chanced to play the theme to his mother
She said, “You should discuss this with your talented brother”.

And so the Lloyd-Webber boys, Julian and Andrew
Re-arranged the theme and added sounds that were brand new
And they added a beat
And it sounded a treat
And they cried, “Eureka, we have got a hit!”

A man from the television on the south bank
Said I don’t want to Bragg but I’ll be Earnest and Frank ( Well, nothing really rhymes with Melvin)
As a signature tune 
It would be quite a boon
And they all shook hands and went off for a pint

Long live Paganini
They re-arranged his theme a teeny weeny
They thought it an improvement
Especially in the first and second movement
So Andy didn’t hesitate or suffer any qualms
The theme had variations by Schuman, Liszt and Brahms 
 If they could do it then why shouldn’t he
Paganini’s theme
It’s really a dream
You know what I mean
A theme de la crème

Jazz and Rock fans thought it quite a rave
But some critics said, “That ain’t no way to behave
Paganini would turn in his grave
If he were alive today”

 So go find a little old tune by Chopin, Verdi or Liszt
And if you can, work out a plan
To give that theme a new twist 
Then add a really strong beat
That knocks you right off your feet
Add words by some fellow
Like Elvis Costello    (whoever he is)
And like the Lloyd-Webbers you’ll join the elite 

I have  a private CD of this in the voice of the eminent thespian Sir Geil Johngood

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