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“LET ‘EM EAT STEAK !”     An imaginary conversation between Marie Antoinette and Louis the Umpteenth. ©  Don Read  1.3.12

The door slammed as Antoinette stormed into the marital bed chamber. “Sacre Bleau” she screamed. “Will those damned peasants never be satisfied, always moaning -if it’s not the price of butter it’s the rise in the community tax.     I can see the day coming when we may have to ally ourselves to a pack of other European countries and form an alliance.

The door slammed again as Louis the Umpteenth stormed in “Sacre bleau” he screamed. “I’ve just done that one” replied Marie. “Those damned peasants are revolting yet again.  The price of fish has gone through the roof ”  Those  English tykes have taken all the les poison out of our beloved French Channel. And you know how much the peasants like sole, cod, plaice,  trout, bass, mackerel and herring.”   Marie turned on the despot and spoke. “Let ‘em eat skate”.

“By the way did you hear about poor old Francoise ?  There he was all trussed up on his way to Madame Guillotine when he fell out of the tumbrel, banged his head and died. He was only 110 and could have enjoyed at least another ten  minutes of life.”

“Enough of this tittle tatle”.  Said the Umpteenth. He was called the Umpteenth because few Frenchmen could grasp the meaning of Louis X Vee One. “I’ve got a  country to run, places to go, people to execute ”. 

“Linger a little longer, my dauphine”, enjoined the sultry Marie. coming all over romantic like.   We have been advised to produce a child as quickly a possible “.

“I have no intention of producing a child in under nine months, maybe longer, I am far to busy  responded Louis . In fact it took seven years. He had lost the instructions.

It was widely rumoured that Louis was seeing a young chanteuse by the name of Piaf whose appeal was, apparently, that she sang down her nose. Although heavily criticized for this she claimed that she had no regrets.

There was a revolution to get on with and the populace couldn’t  hang (?) about indefinitely. Lou was imprisoned and subsequently executed. for a traffic offence. Nine months later Marie was tried, convicted of treason for demanding that the peasants live on a diet of skate. She did a little plea bargaining and was said to have changed SKATE to  CAKE. But it was useless considering that the price of self raising flour had doubled.

She was executed by guillotine on the 16th  of October 1793 and by this time the Piaf woman had mysteriously got to number one in the charts.  

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